“You shit head, why didn’t you do your job yesterday?” the boss shouted, storming around the office.

He stopped and stared directly at me. “Don’t you hear me?”

“I’m... I’m Zbignev... It’s my first day at work.”

“Zbignev, Zdzislav, Shitslav... first day, last day... who cares? I need those designs today!”

The office fell silent. No one dared to interrupt him.

This was my first encounter with what I now call a "bosshole." He genuinely believed he was a genius and could treat everyone like dirt.

In the late '90s, nearly every boss in post-Soviet countries displayed narcissistic traits. They all believed that they were super special and most of them treated their employees badly. I started my career in the early 2000s, so while many bosses were beginning to change their behavior, you could still get that sort of treatment at some companies.

Later, when I started to work with corporations, I realized that although the language was different, the essence was the same. These bosses didn't take criticism, were arrogant, used gaslighting as their first tool to deal with criticism, and always believed they were right.

While you might think the best way to deal with a narcissistic boss is to avoid working for them, the reality is that many bosses have narcissistic tendencies. Narcissists tend to be more successful professionally. It’s just a fact.

They are more ambitious; it’s their life goal to be successful and to validate themselves. Like we all want to succeed, but at the end of the day, we say, “Well, I have my friends, my family, I’ve got some food, I’m okay.” But for them, it’s a matter of life and death. That’s why you find so many narcissists among your bosses. Narcissism and capitalism go hand-in-hand. It’s just how our economy works.

So if you want to succeed in your career, you need to learn how to deal with these types of people, how to talk to them, how to manipulate them, and how they think.

So, how do you deal with a boss who loves the spotlight more than anything?

1  Set Boundaries

It's important to establish clear limits on what is acceptable. Politely but firmly communicate these boundaries. For instance, if they call you after work hours for non-urgent matters, let them know you will address it during business hours.

"I understand that some issues are urgent, but I'd appreciate it if non-urgent matters could be discussed during office hours. It helps me maintain a healthy work-life balance and perform better."

2  Document Everything

Keep a record of your work, communications, and any instances where your boss may overstep or undermine you. This documentation can be crucial if you need to escalate the issue to HR or defend your performance.

"Just to confirm our discussion earlier, I'll send you an email summarizing what we talked about and the next steps. This way, we can both refer to it as needed."

3  Stay Calm and Professional

Narcissists thrive on drama and emotional reactions. By staying calm and professional, you deny them the satisfaction of seeing you upset. Practice deep breathing or take a short walk if you need to cool down before responding.

"I hear your feedback, and I'll take it into consideration. Let’s focus on how we can move forward with the project.”

4  Limit Personal Information

Keep your conversations focused on work-related topics to maintain professionalism and avoid giving your boss personal information that they could use against you.

"I prefer to keep our conversations focused on work-related topics. Let's discuss the project details and deadlines.”

5  Focus on Your Goals

Keep your eye on your own career objectives and personal growth. Narcissistic bosses can make you doubt yourself, but by staying focused on your goals and continuing to develop your skills, you can maintain your confidence and motivation.

"I appreciate your input. My main goal is to continue developing my skills and contributing effectively to the team. Could we discuss how I can better achieve these objectives?”