"Mia, this design looks great," her boss, Alan, says, tapping his finger on the mockup she’s just presented. "I can see the effort you’ve put into it. But…" his voice trails off, and Mia braces herself.

"The color palette feels… off. Maybe it needs more energy. And this layout? It’s functional, but it doesn’t feel inspired. Also, the typography could be more modern. Overall, I think you do great work."

Mia nods, trying to keep her face neutral, but inside, she’s reeling. What does ‘more energy’ even mean? And ‘not inspired’? She hears Alan’s words but has no idea how to fix the issues. She goes back to her desk, feeling deflated.

For the next week, Mia tries to improve her designs based on Alan’s vague feedback. She tweaks the colors, adjusts the layouts, experiments with fonts—but every time she presents her work, the pattern repeats.

"This is better, but…"

Alan always finds something to critique. Mia starts second-guessing every decision she makes. Should she stick with this design? Or will Alan hate it? She becomes addicted to seeking his approval but never feels like she’s getting it. There’s no clear direction, no pattern to follow.

The Downward Spiral

The constant mixed feedback takes its toll. Mia begins to doubt her skills entirely. Maybe I’m not cut out for this, she thinks. She hesitates over every color choice, every alignment tweak. The imposter syndrome creeps in, whispering, You’re just pretending to know what you’re doing.

By the third month of this routine, Mia is exhausted. She knows she can’t keep guessing what Alan wants. The stress is too much.

The Turning Point

One afternoon, Mia takes a deep breath and marches into Alan’s office.

"Alan, I need to say something," she starts, her voice trembling. "I feel like I’m only hearing what’s wrong with my work. I don’t know what’s expected of me, and I’m starting to doubt if I’m even doing this job right."

Alan leans back in his chair, raising an eyebrow. "Mia, we’re here to push boundaries and deliver the best. Mediocre work isn’t an option."

His words hit her like a slap. She swallows hard, nodding. "I understand." She leaves his office feeling worse than before, but an idea starts to form in her mind.

The Plan

The next week, Mia prepares a presentation for Alan. She frames it as a "client challenge" she’s seeking his advice on.

"Alan, I’m working on a tricky project for a client," she begins, showing him a mock brief. "This client constantly critiques my work but doesn’t give clear guidance. They never acknowledge what’s good, only point out flaws. I’m struggling to understand how to meet their expectations. Could you help me figure out how to present my ideas better?"

Alan frowns, intrigued. "Let’s see it," he says.

Mia presents a series of designs and explains the hypothetical client’s comments. Alan dives in, explaining how to structure her presentation to guide the client’s feedback. He shows her how to preemptively address potential criticisms and control the narrative.

They spend hours refining the "client" approach, with Alan fully engaged.

The Shift

Mia takes everything she’s learned from Alan and applies it to her own work—but this time, she uses these tactics on him.

When presenting her designs, she starts with a clear explanation of her choices. She anticipates his critiques and addresses them upfront. She focuses on leading the conversation instead of letting him dominate it.

At first, Alan doesn’t seem to notice the change, but over time, he starts to give more balanced feedback. He praises her for her thought process and begins collaborating instead of just critiquing.

One day, during a casual chat, Alan suddenly smirks.

"Mia, that client you needed help with—was that… me?"

Mia laughs nervously. "Maybe."

To her surprise, Alan laughs too. "Clever. I guess I needed to see things from the other side. You’ve improved a lot, Mia. Keep it up."

The Lesson

By flipping the script, Mia not only learned to manage her boss but also regained her confidence. She realized that good feedback isn’t just about what’s said—it’s also about how it’s framed.

And sometimes, teaching someone to be better starts with showing them their own reflection.

Struggling With Work Challenges?

From Mia’s Story to Your Career

Mia’s story highlights a common workplace struggle: constant criticism without clear guidance can lead to confusion, self-doubt, and even imposter syndrome. It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of guessing what your boss wants and constantly seeking their approval.

But Mia realized that staying silent and second-guessing herself wasn’t the answer. Instead, she found a way to turn her boss’s critiques into a learning opportunity—and used that to improve not just her work, but how she presented it.

Here’s how you can do the same:

Use the IKEA Effect Hack

When your boss critiques your work, ask for their help in improving it. For example:

"You’re right, this could be better. Since you’re the expert, could you show me how to approach it differently?"

Here’s why this works:

1. They Invest in You: Just like building IKEA furniture, when someone puts effort into something, they value it more. If your boss spends time coaching you, they’ll appreciate your improvements more.
2. It Shifts the Dynamic: Instead of feeling defeated, you turn their critique into collaboration.
3. You Learn and Grow: Even if their advice isn’t perfect, you gain insight into their expectations and improve your skills.

If They Say, ‘Figure It Out on Your Own’

This might sound discouraging, but it’s an opportunity to take charge. Do some research:

• Find courses, books, or tools that can help you develop the skills they’re asking for.
• Ask your boss for a budget or time to invest in learning these skills.

If they don’t provide support, document your efforts. Next time the issue arises, you’ll have a strong case to show you’ve taken steps to improve and identify where further help is needed.

By involving them in the process—or taking the reins yourself—you turn criticism into an opportunity to grow and build your confidence.